It usually takes only about 45 minutes, and it's exhausting and effective.
I'm not sure why it is. Usually, the feeling of deep despair sets in around 10:00. Then I fiddle around for a while because I know that if I try to go to sleep I'll end up having a panic attack. When I decide that it's bedtime--usually around 11:00--I tuck in with my audiobook and take some deep meditative breaths. I text my boyfriend goodnight, turn over to face the door, and allow the hot drip of tears to make patting sounds on my pillow.
I think it's time to renew the once-abandoned search for a decent therapist.
I'm not sure why it is. Usually, the feeling of deep despair sets in around 10:00. Then I fiddle around for a while because I know that if I try to go to sleep I'll end up having a panic attack. When I decide that it's bedtime--usually around 11:00--I tuck in with my audiobook and take some deep meditative breaths. I text my boyfriend goodnight, turn over to face the door, and allow the hot drip of tears to make patting sounds on my pillow.
I think it's time to renew the once-abandoned search for a decent therapist.
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