I know I've always been a commitment-phobe, as far as relationships go, which explains the aforementioned aversion to marriage. But I can't really explain why I wanted a wedding so badly before.
Maybe it was the glitz of it? Or the temptation I found in the idea of being completely in charge of putting an event together?
But having just come back from the first wedding I have attended as an adult, I find my opinions turned around completely.
On the one had, I am so inspired by the love and loyalty I witnessed today. So inspired. Beyond words. Not even love and loyalty by the bride and groom--more by the older couples, aunts and uncles and grandparents and neighbors, whom each seemed to privately relive their own wedding days as they danced back and forth.
Weddings themselves, though. The idea suddenly disgusts me. It seems self-indulgent, silly. Superfluous.
Love--the real kind, the kind which I didn't believe existed until today--shouldn't be about the party. Weddings shouldn't be stressful or scary, or about anything really except love and the two people getting married.
I don't often do this, but I'm going to whip out the Bible here to back me up. A passage which is so often used at weddings--1 Corinthians 13:4-7--really strike a chord with me today. "Love is patient, love is kind.... It does not boast, it is not proud."
This passage was read at the wedding today. And then we proceeded out to an incredibly lavish reception wherein the wedding party and close friends proceeded to get Absolutely Wasted.
I don't know. It just felt like there were too many people, too many things--as happy as I am for the bride and groom, it wasn't about them by the end of the night.
I don't know. I think I learned a lot about love tonight. Need more time to process. Stay tuned.
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