I'm wearing fleece PJ pants right now and, although they fit well everywhere else, they legitimately don't cover up my whole ass and it is ridiculous. I'm basically just wearing footless thigh-highs to bed.
I refer to my butt as The Biracial Booty, and one time I told my mom that and she just looks at me open-mouthed for like ten seconds and then goes "What a thing to say!" I tell it like it is, sorry not sorry.
Because honestly, as much of a pain in the ass (hahahaha) as it can be at times, I like my butt. I like it when I put on leggings and get to admire the C-shaped outline in the mirror. I like having salespeople blatantly stare when I try on expensive jeans. I like when a cute boy walks up the stairs behind me because for once, I've got it, and I'm going to flaunt it.
I like that people immediately assume I can twerk, even though I can't even sway and clap on rhythm.
Why does the word rhythm have so many goddamn consonants? Too many. That's capitalism for you. "Jeopardy" is destroying the spelling in this country.
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