Especially as a woman. No, you know what? Especially as a person who gives a living shit about other people. Honestly. I have a mother. I have a sister. I have female cousins and friends and neighbors and coworkers and classmates and I Give A Shit about their well-being and safety in this world until we have some kind of set-up where allowances aren't made for boys because they are Meant To Be Dominant.
Which is why things like this simultaneously upset me deeply and give me a tiny bit more faith that one person--a parent, specifically--can make a difference.
You can read the whole post on the Huffington Post here, but I just really felt the need to emphasize a few highlights.
Good lord, it's been a rough year for Ohio.
I'm not trying to say that men are bad, or Ohio. That is not the case. Men and Ohio can be wonderful, as can women and other Midwestern States. However, there is something fundamentally wrong with a culture in which men as a group feel that they have a right to control and enforce their will. For some men, that means wonderful things like founding soup kitchens or community centers. For some unfortunate, sometimes sociopathic individuals, that means kidnapping, raping, or murdering another human whom they see as having less will than themselves. These victims are, often, women and children.
The article above really shows, I think, how much we as average citizens can really have a hand in changing the world. Even for one person. If I teach a boy not to rape, he will in turn spare a potential victim the humiliation and pain (both emotional and physical) of such a violation. If each of us teaches a boy not to rape, we create a world where no one ever has to suffer in this way.
It's that simple. Really. That simple.
Which is why things like this simultaneously upset me deeply and give me a tiny bit more faith that one person--a parent, specifically--can make a difference.
You can read the whole post on the Huffington Post here, but I just really felt the need to emphasize a few highlights.
"For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons and feathers, only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion.
"I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldn’t have to rebuild the whole thing....
"Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning."Yeah, that's the not-so good part. Here's where it gets better though.
"There was another boy who, similarly, decided to knock down her castle one day. When he did it his mother took him in hand, explained to him that it was not his to destroy, asked him how he thought my daughter felt after working so hard on her building and walked over with him so he could apologize."PARENTING. PARENTING. PARENTING.
"There was a third child. He was really smart. He asked if he could knock her building down. She, beneficent ruler of all pre-circle-time castle construction, said yes… but only after she was done building it and said it was OK. They worked out a plan together and eventually he started building things with her and they would both knock the thing down with unadulterated joy."But, ready? Here's where it hits home:
"The 'overarching attitudinal characteristic' of abusive men is entitlement"Again, please.
"The 'overarching attitudinal characteristic' of abusive men is entitlement"Think about that for a second. The Steubenville rape trials that were all over the news a few months ago--in fact, most cases of rape (which, by the way, are overwhelmingly committed by men with women as victims) are really simply one individual taking control of another's body. The recently discovered abduction victims in Cleveland were all women, held captive by a man well outside his rights; incidentally, about 72% of the perpetrators of child abduction are male.
Good lord, it's been a rough year for Ohio.
I'm not trying to say that men are bad, or Ohio. That is not the case. Men and Ohio can be wonderful, as can women and other Midwestern States. However, there is something fundamentally wrong with a culture in which men as a group feel that they have a right to control and enforce their will. For some men, that means wonderful things like founding soup kitchens or community centers. For some unfortunate, sometimes sociopathic individuals, that means kidnapping, raping, or murdering another human whom they see as having less will than themselves. These victims are, often, women and children.
The article above really shows, I think, how much we as average citizens can really have a hand in changing the world. Even for one person. If I teach a boy not to rape, he will in turn spare a potential victim the humiliation and pain (both emotional and physical) of such a violation. If each of us teaches a boy not to rape, we create a world where no one ever has to suffer in this way.
It's that simple. Really. That simple.
No comments:
Post a Comment