In Other News:

I have a zit so big that I'm concerned it will soon start talking like that zit on that kid in that cartoon I only watched one episode of. 

Seriously, smiling is painful right now. Partly because I'm crabby, yes, but mostly because this growth on my face is stretching the skin weird. It's only a matter of time before the thing starts developing it's own gravitational pull.*

Thank god I bothered to invest in coverup. Though I'm more worried about the size of this thing than the discoloration. Is this grossing anyone out yet? It got me about two sentences ago. Ick.

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*Yes, I took high school physics, I know everything has some negligible gravitational pull and whatever. It was a joke, leave me alone. (I will also accept a pie with the words "you are fucking amazing" spelled out in blueberries on top.)