I love that book to pieces. And when I first read it, I was in like 8th grade and fell madly in love with Peeta and sort of just like invested all of my angst into Katniss' struggles for her own and her family's survival--which is, in hindsight, totally ridiculous because I have absolutely no way of even remotely relating to any of that. But I did. It was my favorite book for a really long time.
And I just reread it again, three years since I last did. And of course, I fell in love with it again.
But the most striking difference was in my angsty teen-fiction crush on the heroine's male counterpart.
I remember obsessing, as I imagine every 14-year-old does, over Peeta. Every description of his character, his faults and respective strengths, his appearance was turned over and over in my mind until I had convinced myself that I would never find anyone so perfect as this fictional boy who charmed me through the pages of a hand-me-down paperback.
Reading it again, though, I didn't really have those feelings. Instead--and this is going to sound so goddamn sappy--I realized how lucky I am to have someone who, to me at least, is exactly perfect. Though the character is described as fair and stocky, I couldn't help picturing my own tall, lean, dark boy. Every gushy scene between Katniss and Peeta was translated in my head to an image of a thinner, tougher, prettier me curled into the arms of a man who looks nothing like Peeta and is very, very real.
I didn't realize this, honestly, until about twenty pages from the end. And fifteen pages after that, when things began to turn sour, I closed the book and replaced it on my shelf without marking my place.
Because the truth is, falling in love isn't the moment when you see someone and think how beautiful or funny or smart they are. It isn't the moment when you think I love this person, or even the moment when you decide that someone makes you happy.
Falling in love is the moment when you realize that your life is perfect because of a specific person in it. It doesn't happen at first sight, but it is sudden and scary and wonderful. The kind of feeling that makes you want to call your parents and cry and cry. And play an Augustana song really loud with your speakers pressed up against the window screen.
And I just reread it again, three years since I last did. And of course, I fell in love with it again.
But the most striking difference was in my angsty teen-fiction crush on the heroine's male counterpart.
I remember obsessing, as I imagine every 14-year-old does, over Peeta. Every description of his character, his faults and respective strengths, his appearance was turned over and over in my mind until I had convinced myself that I would never find anyone so perfect as this fictional boy who charmed me through the pages of a hand-me-down paperback.
Reading it again, though, I didn't really have those feelings. Instead--and this is going to sound so goddamn sappy--I realized how lucky I am to have someone who, to me at least, is exactly perfect. Though the character is described as fair and stocky, I couldn't help picturing my own tall, lean, dark boy. Every gushy scene between Katniss and Peeta was translated in my head to an image of a thinner, tougher, prettier me curled into the arms of a man who looks nothing like Peeta and is very, very real.
I didn't realize this, honestly, until about twenty pages from the end. And fifteen pages after that, when things began to turn sour, I closed the book and replaced it on my shelf without marking my place.
Because the truth is, falling in love isn't the moment when you see someone and think how beautiful or funny or smart they are. It isn't the moment when you think I love this person, or even the moment when you decide that someone makes you happy.
Falling in love is the moment when you realize that your life is perfect because of a specific person in it. It doesn't happen at first sight, but it is sudden and scary and wonderful. The kind of feeling that makes you want to call your parents and cry and cry. And play an Augustana song really loud with your speakers pressed up against the window screen.
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